By Bridget Young, Class of 2027
One aspect of the Charlotte Fellows Program that I have especially loved is our seminary course. We are currently discussing and developing our own theology of suffering. It has been a uniquely comforting experience to be honest about this topic, especially the pain of unanswered prayers.
A few days ago, after class, I felt compelled to look back on past prayers of my own. I came across a prayer I wrote to the Lord over a year ago in my journal. It was a prayer for my future after graduation. I wrote about my anxiety and fear. As I re-read my journal, the details of that moment came back to me like a clear picture: sitting under a blanket in my familiar college house, sounds of my roommates’ laughter filling the room, and the California sunlight waking up along with me. My Bible was cracked open to Psalm 27:
The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?... One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple... He will keep me safe in His dwelling.
As I prayed into the unknown back then, I had no idea how the Lord would show up. In the waiting, I was deeply afraid that I would make the wrong choice for my future. A year ago, I could never have predicted that I would be in Charlotte! Yet looking back, I see that this experience is an answered prayer and I am beyond thankful to be here and to know the wonderful people I have met.
However, for every answered prayer, it can often feel as if there are a hundred unanswered ones. Prayers that still float in the unknown, or prayers that don’t feel like they have been heard at all. Prayers for the deep brokenness of our world, and for our own personal pain. While we often hear that the ‘Lord’s timing is perfect,’ it rarely feels that way.
I believe that David’s words in Psalm 27 speak to just this point: no matter what, the Lord will keep His people safe in His dwelling. Whether our prayers feel answered or unanswered, He promises to protect us. He promises that His way is right. Through this time in Charlotte , I have been greatly reminded that our security is not found in the answers we desire from God, but instead it is found in the God who holds us as we wait for Him to show us His will, knowing that He is not absent in the waiting, but using it to shape us, draw us closer to Himself, and lead us into His purposes.