By Rachel Kohberger, Charlotte Fellow 2020-2021
“Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return.”
When I entered the Charlotte Fellows, I was told that I would be shown how to transition into independent living. I would cook, work, budget, and manage a remarkably busy schedule. However, as I go through this season of Lent, I am learning a far more valuable lesson. I am learning dependence.
Willing or not, we are all dependent on God. Out of the dust we were formed by him. He breathed life into us, and he sustains us still. By God’s power we will return to dust, despite every effort we make to avoid such a fate. Every second of our lives is dependent on a good and gracious God who gives us more than we could ever deserve. Although I hold these truths in my mind, they seldom permeate into the way I live my life. I love control, I try to be successful on my own, and I look to anything but Jesus for comfort.
“Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, left the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness” Luke 4:1.
The season on Lent celebrates Jesus’s forty days of fasting in the desert. He was there by the Spirit, and while there, depended entirely upon the Father. At the end of the forty days, he was tempted by Satan. He once again depended on the Father, using his word to resist temptation. A few chapters later, in Luke 9, Jesus sends his disciples out into the world to declare the good news. He tells them to take nothing with them, no weapon, no food, no money, and no extra clothing. They were to rely entirely on the provision of God, just as Jesus had relied on the Father earlier. The disciples obeyed and were met with incredible success as they preached the good news and healed people everywhere. They depended on God, and God provided.
As I reflect on these passages, I wonder what would happen if I surrendered entirely over to God, depending on him for everything. I would need to rely on the power of the Gospel instead of fun and games when leading Middle School Bible study. I would need to let go of worries about my future career, and I would need forsake my desires for wealth and adventure to make room for Christ. I must learn to admit that I will never be smart enough, powerful enough, or good enough to earn a spot in heaven, but that’s okay because Christ is and that’s all that matters. In Matthew 10:39, Jesus tells us that “whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” At a time in my life when most my peers are trying to “find themselves”, I hope to be different. I hope to lose myself and become dependent.