By Juliana Ryan
Class of 2023
At the beginning of February, I wrote in my journal, “Who am I to deny what the Lord can do? I don’t know how it will all work out, but I also don’t have to know everything.”
This is a slight nod and hopeful prayer to my compulsive desire to control my life. While writing this, I read over my first blog and I am delighted to see that God has been working on me and for me all along.
The fears I had coming into the program, though valid, God has answered in unexpected ways. One I was most anxious about was my job after fellows.
In the spring, I started praying very simple prayers, “God, please open the right doors…God, please help me find the right job.” Thankfully, even when I don’t know how to pray as I ought, I have an advocate who knows what’s best for me.
I don’t know how to explain how I decided to pursue a job in the coffee industry again, but it kind of just started happening. And in the moving, I realized how excited I was about the prospect of being behind the bar again.
But in the back of my mind, doubt and pride started to creep in—was this job worth it even though I enjoy it so much? Would I be able to sustain myself? I thought I would have to choose coffee OR marketing—it didn’t cross my mind that I could have both.
Yet, God was at work!
In a surprising turn of events, I recently accepted a job that allows me to work in coffee and marketing. I have been reeling in disbelief for a bit that God could accomplish something this suited to my desires and dreams.
However, I know God doesn’t always work in ways we want him to and sometimes what we want for ourselves isn’t what is good for us in His eyes. And other times, our desires are within his will. I find myself encouraged by Paul’s words to the Philippians: “I am sure of this, that he who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus,” (1:6).
Most of the time, I try to carry myself, but again, as Paul says, “it is God who is working in you both to will and to work according to his good purpose.”
The best news is that this is not even the end of my story. The greater hope lies in the eternal reality of the ongoing nature of God sanctifying our work and lives. The work God began in me, and in the fellows, will come to completion one day before the throne. Better than any human strategy or pros and cons list, God is working.